WINDSOR, ONTARIO – Summer is wedding season, and the excitement is palpable.
Our daughter’s wedding took place a decade ago at a beautiful golf course in the city. She looked absolutely stunning in her beautiful, elegant-but-simple dress, with hair and makeup perfected. I “gave her away” to a handsome, gentle Christian man who loves her fiercely.
In our culture, the bride is the centerpiece of every wedding ceremony. She wears the long flowing dress that often costs dad too much money, she enters to a bridal-march, she parades down the center aisle with pomp and circumstance, and people stand as she enters. It's clearly all about the bride (Lance Witt, Replenish, p. 83).
The groom, on the other hand, is usually an afterthought. He’s told when to show up, where to stand, and when to speak, if at all. He's filler, some might say, the warm-up act for the main attraction. Unlike the bride, he usually enters from a side door. He wears a rented tux from Men’s Wearhouse that some other groom will be wearing next weekend. There is no “special song” for him and the groomsmen. It’s clearly all about the bride.
The Book of Revelation describes the ultimate wedding scene. But here it is the groom who gets all the attention, not the bride. “Let us be glad, rejoice, and give him glory, because the marriage of the Lamb has come, and his bride has prepared herself” (Rev. 19:7 CSB).
It is the wedding of the Lamb, not the wedding of the Bride. A couple of verses later, the apostle John writes, “Blessed are those invited to the marriage feast of the Lamb!” (Rev. 19:9 CSB). Our attention is firmly fixed on the Groom.
In John 3:29 the writer makes an interesting statement. He says, “The bride belongs to the bridegroom. The friend who attends the bridegroom waits and listens for him and is full of joy when he hears the bridegroom’s voice” (NIV).
The bride belongs to the bridegroom. That's not only a statement about Jewish, first-century marriage, it's also a great illustration of the relationship between the church and Jesus. It has enormous implications for how we see the church and how we regard our role as pastors and leaders in the church.
In many places and in many movements, it has become all about the bride, the church, rather than the groom, Jesus. But the bride belongs to the bridegroom. As a pastor, then, my job is to watch out for the bride on behalf of the groom.
Pastors are like “spiritual wedding coordinators,” says author Lance Witt. The coordinator's job is to assist and serve the bride and groom, behind the scenes, in making their wedding day a meaningful event. No hired wedding coordinator would ever steal the spotlight from the bride and groom.
Jesus said in John 17:24, “Father, I want those you have given me to be with me where I am, so that they will see my glory, which you have given me because you loved me before the world’s foundation.” There should never be anything blocking the bride's view of the groom's glory. Pastors need to get out of the way so that the bride will be awestruck by the unequaled, unrivaled, incomparable majesty of her groom!
The bride belongs to the bridegroom. The church is not my personal project. As a pastor, I have been given a sacred trust to care for the church. The groom has asked me to look after the bride until he comes for her.
So, if you hear a pastor or church leader talk about his church, his staff, his board, and his vision, be cautious! Do him a spiritual favor by reminding him gently and quietly that the bride belongs to the bridegroom. In a healthy church, Jesus is the Famous One. He gets the most airtime, he is the most talked about, and he is clearly center stage. We should be happy just to spread his fame.
Glory to the Lamb!
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Dr. Garth Leno is the Pastor/Planter Care Specialist with the BSCM. He serves in a similar role with the Canadian National Baptist Convention, and he is the founding pastor of The Gathering Church in Windsor, Ontario, a church he planted with his wife, Patty, and a few of their friends.
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